Stillness

Any time I face any problem whatsoever, I want a solution. I'm not good at escaping the sinking sand, because I squirm and riggle and pull and dig, only enabling the sand to embrace me tighter, drag me deeper. Staying still, being patient, waiting; things I aim to do more of. I need to learn the effectiveness of stillness. Do you?

 

A few years ago, I was dedicated for a solid month to a meditation app. It involved 10 minutes a day of guided meditation alongside extra, specific options if desired, such as an SOS for when you're overwhelmed/panicked, or plans to help with self-confidence, for instance. I loved it and thought it was incredibly helpful in setting me up for the day ahead. One particular imagery they used was that of traffic; you're at a road, the cars are passing, and you let them pass - said cars are the thoughts you deal with daily, and it teaches you to just sit, wait, and let the thoughts pass in the traffic. 

I suppose the sky and clouds work for the same metaphor - let the clouds pass. 

However, I am a cloud chaser. I am a car counter. I am looking frantically left to right to see what that red car is doing and whether that cloud looks like it might rain and trying to prevent a crash between car and cloud. And it is stressful. And exhausting. I have never really known rest. Truth be told, having OCD leaves you continually on guard, in part because of anxiety, but also in part because if I thought one thing, I believed another would happen, THEREFORE, if I waited for something to happen then nothing ever would. Flawed logic - don't try at home.

Truth be told, I've been feeling sad lately. Not upset, or anxious, or tired. Just a little sad. And I want to fix it. I listen to Christian podcasts and I go for a cycle before I go for a walk and I read advice pages and write myself snippets of motivation and tidy my room and all the other things someone who really-does-not-want-to-feel-this-way does. 

But this is where Psalm 46:10 comes in.

This is where God keeps pressing that verse to me. 'Be still and know that I am God.'

A few months ago this verse was everywhere. Notebooks, pens, books I was reading, references in articles for essays, instagram posts, blogs, rubbers. Everywhere. I once even started a book to procrastinate praying and going to bed because I knew God wanted me to be still in His presence, and the first page was about being still. I don't believe in coincidences, either, so I have faith that that was God speaking to me.

What does it mean? In the original translation, this verse calls for us to be still, to rest and hand it over, SO that God can be God. Give Him control; hand it over. 'Be still' itself in Hebrew stems from a verb being to be weak. Be weak, so that God can be God.

I am often guilty of trying to grasp onto the very little control I have and do something to fix the problem. I want to show God that I can do it and impress Him. But this is grace. We don't earn it - we simply can't!

More than that, this verse includes two imperatives - 'be still' and 'know'. Not simply to try your best, or think about doing it, but we are absolutely commanded to carry this out. Even when I don't want to give up my control, which is minimal anyway, I have to.

Additionally, this verse points to humility, a key trait of Jesus. In John 7, when complimented on His teaching, Jesus says, 'My teaching is not mine, but his who sent me.' (7:16b). Zooming out, when we look at Jesus, it is clear that He has every right to brag. The worthy lamb who was slain, the one at the right hand of the Father, the perfect human. Yet, He humbles himself. He seeks after God's glory in all cases; in success, and in pain. 'Not my will, but yours be done.' (Luke 22:42). Jesus humbles himself to the will of the Father continually and hands every-single-thing over to God.

As followers of Christ, this is what we aspire to do - be like Christ. Hand everything over to God. Trust it in His hands. Live for His glory. Glorify Him by handing it over; let Him work through the difficulties and the triumphs.

God does not work on what we don't allow Him to touch. Be still. Cast your burdens onto Him. Find rest. Tell your mountains about your God; He can do immeasurably more. 

Take care,

'And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.' 1 John 5:14