A Note on Holden
I can't help but love "The Catcher in the Rye". I wish I was bitter to Holden's excessive complaints and pessimistic viewpoint, but I really feel for him. I can see and appreciate why people sympathise and relate to him; he's quirky, funny, a wallflower. Although, really, is it necessary to state how you're "goddamn depressed" four times on one single page?
The repetition used by Salinger, such as the excessive reminders of Holden's mental deterioration, reveals the extent of Holden's lil bubble - there is Holden, and Holden, and Holden, and don't forget about Holden. The novel feels like a series of pity parties Holden has for himself, yet his self-loathing is contradictory to his unchanging ways.
Holden isn't willing to change. Nothing could ever possibly be his fault. Although depression is by no means self-inflicted or a choice, but getting better is, and how much is Holden really helping himself by avoiding all responsibilities, lamenting in his failures, and refusing to take ownership for his actions? He sees the faults of the world, yet still remains blind to his own blemishes.
Until he realises he can't save the world, or protect innocence. And then the cruel realities of the world hit him like a domino effect; the "fuck you" vandalism, the ageing of Phoebe, the pathetic fallacy of a thunderstorm Holden would rather drown in than seek shelter. Holden realises he isn't the catcher in the rye; he doesn't have to save everybody. He can't.
The realisation of that resonates within us all, be it our desire to help every single person ever and realise we're incapable of that, or realising that you may never get to become xyz (a dog, in my case)/attend your dream university/fulfil a particular ambition. It's heart-shattering. We know the impact this has on Holden and the breakdown that follows the end of the novel. And so I find it hard to be overly cruel on Holden because he does that enough himself.
Plus, we have to remember that Holden's narration is with hindsight. He never once declares regret or wishes or current feelings; what Holden remembers will be altered, just as we cannot remember every exact detail from the past week. It's easy to assume that all Holden sees is negativity because his eyes aren't fine-tuned to the blessings in his life. But maybe the black fog is all he remembers.
Perhaps if someone had have talked to Holden, it wouldn't have taken flunking out of multiple schools and a breakdown and a novel for him to work it out.
I can't help but empathise with Holden. However, don't be a Holden. You don't need a novel or poetic expressions or multiple direct statements to portray how you feel. Your feelings matter. They don't have to sound beautiful or admirable. Feelings are meant to be raw. Express them like that.
Take care.
Until he realises he can't save the world, or protect innocence. And then the cruel realities of the world hit him like a domino effect; the "fuck you" vandalism, the ageing of Phoebe, the pathetic fallacy of a thunderstorm Holden would rather drown in than seek shelter. Holden realises he isn't the catcher in the rye; he doesn't have to save everybody. He can't.
The realisation of that resonates within us all, be it our desire to help every single person ever and realise we're incapable of that, or realising that you may never get to become xyz (a dog, in my case)/attend your dream university/fulfil a particular ambition. It's heart-shattering. We know the impact this has on Holden and the breakdown that follows the end of the novel. And so I find it hard to be overly cruel on Holden because he does that enough himself.
Plus, we have to remember that Holden's narration is with hindsight. He never once declares regret or wishes or current feelings; what Holden remembers will be altered, just as we cannot remember every exact detail from the past week. It's easy to assume that all Holden sees is negativity because his eyes aren't fine-tuned to the blessings in his life. But maybe the black fog is all he remembers.
Perhaps if someone had have talked to Holden, it wouldn't have taken flunking out of multiple schools and a breakdown and a novel for him to work it out.
I can't help but empathise with Holden. However, don't be a Holden. You don't need a novel or poetic expressions or multiple direct statements to portray how you feel. Your feelings matter. They don't have to sound beautiful or admirable. Feelings are meant to be raw. Express them like that.
Take care.
Comments
Post a Comment