17 Things Before 17
Tomorrow is my 17th birthday. Yikes...
I've learnt a few things over the past seventeen years, like mitochondria is the power house of the cell. I've learnt enough to get me into a grammar school, get nine GCSE's, and scrape by the first four months of my AS Levels. But I've learnt so much more than what exam boards ask for.
1. You are you
...and that is truer than true. Over the years I've learnt, and am still accepting, that I am myself. I am no one else. I'm unique, and so cannot compare to anyone else on the planet. What other people do well I may do poorly, but it works in reverse too. I'm me, and you are you. Nothing can change that.
2. You're never too old
Regardless of what anyone says. You can watch Disney when you're five, and you can watch Disney when you're seventy. You can cuddle a teddy when you're five, and you can cuddle a teddy when you're seventy. You can start a hobby when you're five, and you can start a hobby when you're seventy. Don't believe that you shouldn't do something because of your age; age is just a number.
3. Swings are there to be swung on
Never pass the opportunity to swing on a swing. It's glorious. Take advantage of their presence; you never know when you'll see one again.
4. Mum does a lot for you
A lot. She needs to be appreciated sometimes.
5. Chicken hats exist
And people wear them. Yep.
6. Cards are worthwhile
I've never been much of a fan of cards. I've always considered them a waste of time and effort and space, but recently I've realised that I'm wrong. Cards show that people thought of you, and can contain the most beautiful messages. They're also good keepsakes!
7. Cake batter froyo exists
So not only did Lisa and I get over-excited when we finally found Spoon Street in Belfast, but when we found "cake batter" flavour froyo; that was it. Woah. The world and its food advances are ridiculously impressive... Candy floss grapes anyone?
8. It's okay to give up
Most people tell you to never give up until you get where you want to be, no matter the consequences. I'm telling you not to listen to that. As someone who is perfectionistic and obsessive, I have been in horrendously unhealthy positions due to trying to obtain every goal I've ever set. It's not possible to achieve everything; it's also not failure to not achieve everything. Giving up doesn't make you worthless, nor does it mean you're never going to achieve anything. Giving up means you possess a healthy level of self-awareness to be able to say "This isn't right for me", and set your aims elsewhere. Personally, I believe it takes more to give up than it does to keep striving, so make the right choices between carrying on, and letting something go.
9. Appreciate the little things
Like chicken hats and cake batter froyo. They matter.
10. People leave
People come into your life as temporary moments, fleeting lessons, and short term messages. Notice what each person teaches you. Don't believe anyone who says "I'll never leave", because they can't predict the future. Sometimes carrying on a relationship is more unhealthy than it is to separate. Know that it's okay if someone isn't in your life forever, and know that it's okay to leave another's life if you see it fit.
11. It's nice to be nice
People don't remember what we do, they remember how we make them feel. Smile at strangers, hold doors open, help someone in need. You never know who might be needing a pick-me-up.
12. Books are your best friends
Words are powerful and people are cruel. Books won't hurt you.(Well...). Reading is good; indulge and be absorbed by the beauty of fiction. Let the different world consume you as we all need a way to escape, and a good dose of fiction is healthy at any time.
13. Chocolate is there to be eaten
To put it bluntly, you aren't going to regret not losing those extra few pounds when you're on your deathbed. You're going to regret not trying that chocolate bar before it stopped being sold. As Remus Lupin once said, "Eat, you'll feel better".
14. Tea helps everything
...in more ways than one. Your physical health as well as mental health can be aided by different types of tea such as camomile, mint, or green tea. It's good for you. Plus, tea is great anyway.
15. Everything happens for a reason
Everything. I can't stress this enough. I know that sometimes things can feel so dark that you're left wondering, "Why me?"and it feels so unfair and cruel. But something good will come, even if that good thing is the new knowledge that you can go through something like that and survive it.
16. You're more than grades
I'm still trying to teach myself this. With the current education system, school has became more about obtaining grades and passing tests than it is about learning. It leaves us as figures rather than people; candidate numbers, average test scores, position in the year/school/province/coountry/world. Please don't forget that you're a person. Never become blinded by the idea of grades; treat yourself sometimes, take a night off work, enjoy the world whilst you're still in it.
17. You've got to save yourself
The most important lesson of all. No one can save you. They can help you, yes, but ultimately you have to decide to fight the darkness in order to get through it. Years of therapy, hospital admissions, suicide attempts taught me that. Theres only so much medication, and doctors, and hospitals, can do when you're not willing to fight the thoughts. Right now I may not be doing it for me, but I'm doing it for all of the people who have helped and supported me through my struggles. You can't be saved, and you can't hide. You've got to save yourself.
Here's to brighter days, shorter nights, and more worthwhile moments.
1. You are you
...and that is truer than true. Over the years I've learnt, and am still accepting, that I am myself. I am no one else. I'm unique, and so cannot compare to anyone else on the planet. What other people do well I may do poorly, but it works in reverse too. I'm me, and you are you. Nothing can change that.
2. You're never too old
Regardless of what anyone says. You can watch Disney when you're five, and you can watch Disney when you're seventy. You can cuddle a teddy when you're five, and you can cuddle a teddy when you're seventy. You can start a hobby when you're five, and you can start a hobby when you're seventy. Don't believe that you shouldn't do something because of your age; age is just a number.
3. Swings are there to be swung on
Never pass the opportunity to swing on a swing. It's glorious. Take advantage of their presence; you never know when you'll see one again.
4. Mum does a lot for you
A lot. She needs to be appreciated sometimes.
5. Chicken hats exist
And people wear them. Yep.
6. Cards are worthwhile
I've never been much of a fan of cards. I've always considered them a waste of time and effort and space, but recently I've realised that I'm wrong. Cards show that people thought of you, and can contain the most beautiful messages. They're also good keepsakes!
7. Cake batter froyo exists
So not only did Lisa and I get over-excited when we finally found Spoon Street in Belfast, but when we found "cake batter" flavour froyo; that was it. Woah. The world and its food advances are ridiculously impressive... Candy floss grapes anyone?
8. It's okay to give up
Most people tell you to never give up until you get where you want to be, no matter the consequences. I'm telling you not to listen to that. As someone who is perfectionistic and obsessive, I have been in horrendously unhealthy positions due to trying to obtain every goal I've ever set. It's not possible to achieve everything; it's also not failure to not achieve everything. Giving up doesn't make you worthless, nor does it mean you're never going to achieve anything. Giving up means you possess a healthy level of self-awareness to be able to say "This isn't right for me", and set your aims elsewhere. Personally, I believe it takes more to give up than it does to keep striving, so make the right choices between carrying on, and letting something go.
9. Appreciate the little things
Like chicken hats and cake batter froyo. They matter.
10. People leave
People come into your life as temporary moments, fleeting lessons, and short term messages. Notice what each person teaches you. Don't believe anyone who says "I'll never leave", because they can't predict the future. Sometimes carrying on a relationship is more unhealthy than it is to separate. Know that it's okay if someone isn't in your life forever, and know that it's okay to leave another's life if you see it fit.
11. It's nice to be nice
People don't remember what we do, they remember how we make them feel. Smile at strangers, hold doors open, help someone in need. You never know who might be needing a pick-me-up.
12. Books are your best friends
Words are powerful and people are cruel. Books won't hurt you.
13. Chocolate is there to be eaten
To put it bluntly, you aren't going to regret not losing those extra few pounds when you're on your deathbed. You're going to regret not trying that chocolate bar before it stopped being sold. As Remus Lupin once said, "Eat, you'll feel better".
14. Tea helps everything
...in more ways than one. Your physical health as well as mental health can be aided by different types of tea such as camomile, mint, or green tea. It's good for you. Plus, tea is great anyway.
15. Everything happens for a reason
Everything. I can't stress this enough. I know that sometimes things can feel so dark that you're left wondering, "Why me?"and it feels so unfair and cruel. But something good will come, even if that good thing is the new knowledge that you can go through something like that and survive it.
16. You're more than grades
I'm still trying to teach myself this. With the current education system, school has became more about obtaining grades and passing tests than it is about learning. It leaves us as figures rather than people; candidate numbers, average test scores, position in the year/
17. You've got to save yourself
The most important lesson of all. No one can save you. They can help you, yes, but ultimately you have to decide to fight the darkness in order to get through it. Years of therapy, hospital admissions, suicide attempts taught me that. Theres only so much medication, and doctors, and hospitals, can do when you're not willing to fight the thoughts. Right now I may not be doing it for me, but I'm doing it for all of the people who have helped and supported me through my struggles. You can't be saved, and you can't hide. You've got to save yourself.
Here's to brighter days, shorter nights, and more worthwhile moments.
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