The Importance of Listening
Recently it's came to my realisation that most of us are guilty of not listening to our friends/family; myself included. When other's come off with a story, we relate it back to ourselves. When they have an issue, we relate it back to our own experiences. When someone just needs to be heard, we shut our ears off.
We're all ignorant to our actions and selfishness - it's human nature. But is it helpful? Rarely. I'll admit that sometimes I do want someone to point out that hey, they've been through something similar and they survived. A majority of the time however, all we want is to feel cared about.
You probably don't notice yourself doing it - I certainly didn't. For example, when friends were piled under homework, instead of considering the fact they're stressed out enough as it is, I related with my own pile of homework. But no two people ever go through the same experience. No two people ever manage the same way, have the same priorities, or, most importantly, are duplicates. So in reality, no, I couldn't relate to that person because I do different subjects, I learn in a different way, and I have different commitments. My five homeworks might take less time than their three homeworks.
I suppose what I'm asking is for you to really read between the lines of what someone is saying to you. They're going through a hard time? See how you can help, perhaps they just want a bit of reassurance that it's okay to struggle, rather than turning the topic around to your own problems - the chances are your friend will want to listen to you too, but not in that moment. We're all guilty of it and we will all continue to make mistakes and think of ourselves, but trying is the first step. So be patient and listen, your time to talk will come.
"When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." (Ernest Hemingway)
We're all ignorant to our actions and selfishness - it's human nature. But is it helpful? Rarely. I'll admit that sometimes I do want someone to point out that hey, they've been through something similar and they survived. A majority of the time however, all we want is to feel cared about.
You probably don't notice yourself doing it - I certainly didn't. For example, when friends were piled under homework, instead of considering the fact they're stressed out enough as it is, I related with my own pile of homework. But no two people ever go through the same experience. No two people ever manage the same way, have the same priorities, or, most importantly, are duplicates. So in reality, no, I couldn't relate to that person because I do different subjects, I learn in a different way, and I have different commitments. My five homeworks might take less time than their three homeworks.
I suppose what I'm asking is for you to really read between the lines of what someone is saying to you. They're going through a hard time? See how you can help, perhaps they just want a bit of reassurance that it's okay to struggle, rather than turning the topic around to your own problems - the chances are your friend will want to listen to you too, but not in that moment. We're all guilty of it and we will all continue to make mistakes and think of ourselves, but trying is the first step. So be patient and listen, your time to talk will come.
"When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." (Ernest Hemingway)
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